I want to share this with others that are struggling like I have.
I went on my first diet when I was 13. All through my life I have been on the diet roller coaster. Always watching what I eat. Counting calories, fats, carbs. Making sure I drank lots of water. Giving up foods I loved. I did so many fad diets and I did lose weight but I also gained it back time and time again. The last 12 years I have been doing low carb, then I switched to keto about 3 years ago. I have kept my weight off but it has been a struggle to maintain it. Giving up a lot of happiness.
Six months ago I quit keto. I had enough. I was miserable. I thought that maybe I could start calorie counting again. I did some searching online and found a blog that was about intuitive eating. I was curious. I found myself going down the rabbit hole. A week later I crawled out of that hole and was ready to let go of dieting. I was afraid but excited. My first want…Cheerios. Which I binged on for about 2 months every day a bowl or two. And from there I went on to binge on all the foods I hadn’t let myself eat in years. I found out that some of the foods that I wanted and had missed for so many years, didn’t really taste as good as I remembered.
I was so scared that I would gain a ton of weight but I had told myself that it’s ok if I do, that my body will settle down at the weight it needs to be at.
It took some time. Five months to get to a set point with my weight. I had gained 12 lbs in total. I went up a size in my clothing, not a big deal. I am still eating my cheerios whenever I want them.
Anyways, here comes Christmas. This is why I wanted to share. I have always been unhappy when Christmas happens. All the foods that I couldn’t eat. All the diet talk. All the bullshit that goes with it. Well, this year I have been so happy. I love baking and cooking again. I’ve made so many Christmas treats it’s ridiculous! The best part, I don’t feel like I need to eat it all up just because it’s here. I have finally found peace with food. It doesn’t control me anymore. I will never go on a diet again.
It took me 41 years to learn that diets don’t work and that I have an eating disorder and body issues.
I am still learning everyday what my body needs. But everyday I am also learning to love my body and who I am. The road to recovery is worth it.
I have left out a lot of details to keep this short. Otherwise this would be a mile long post.
If you are struggling with your diet, I am happy to talk about what I have been doing. Or you can google intuitive eating. You might end up down the same rabbit hole..LOL
But for now, I will fill my glass with wine, I will enjoy those Christmas cookies and wish the best to all of you in the New Year and for those that are starting a new diet, good luck, I am so glad I dont have to do that anymore!