Wow. The last 2 days have been horrible. My IBS has flared up. I found out that I can not eat microwave popcorn. After about 40 mins of finishing it, I started to have pain. I was up all night. There was a point that I really considered going to the ER.
Now I am eating very bland foods. Still have pain, but it is getting better. Lots of water, peppermint tea and I was able to have some coffee. My dinner was grilled chicken and some white rice. Yes I know white rice is not the healthiest but because of IBS I can’t eat any type of brown rice. AND who cares! I love white rice.
We are having a major heat wave coming through this weekend. Will be getting up to 40c. that is hot for this time of year and about average for this area. So glad I have an AC unit to keep me cool. I had heat stroke many years ago and ever since then I cant handle anything about 33c. It causes a lot of my health issues to flare up.
Hubby is out buying ice cream. LOL.. I want to try a non dairy, lactose free ice cream. Will see what he comes back with for me.
OK, so here are a list of things to follow or at least try to follow. Nothing is written in stone.
- Reject the Diet Mentality – this was hard to do, but worth it.
- Honoring Your Hunger – eat when you want.
- Make Peace with Food – it’s ok to have that chocolate cake.
- Challenge the Food Police – I don’t care about the food police.
- Discover the Satisfaction Factor – enjoy what you are eating.
- Feel Your Fullness – To do this, eat slower.
- Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness – working on it.
- Respect Your Body – also working on it.
- Movement—Feel the Difference – started walking again and doing tai-chi
- Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition – slowly learning what my body wants.
I am thinking I might be done with pigging out on food. I think! Not saying I’m sure about it. I am feeling more satisfied with food but my portions are still a bit large. I have figured out a few more foods that my body doesn’t like. Wine being one of them. My anxiety goes up when I drink wine. It makes me heart pound and I feel guilt for drinking it. Yeah I know it’s silly but that is how I feel.
I think I need to make a Yes and No food list. That way I can track what foods I should stay away from and what foods I enjoy.
It’s Father’s Day. My dad died in 2008. I miss him. It’s also my youngest son’s birthday today. I don’t get to see either one of them. My son lives too far away to visit. We can at least talk on the phone.
We are having a mini heatwave this week. 32c this afternoon. Lovely weather.
I am tweaking my blog. Adding and testing some stuff. So you might see some changes. It’s been a long time since build a blog. My last one was done so long ago that now everything has changed on how to build one. I had to go look up what “shortcode” meant. Yeah, I didn’t know either!
Anyways, Something I have noticed since I changed my eating habits. My skin is breaking out! I look like a pubescent teenager. I think I know what is causing it. Most likely it’s from the milk. Too much dairy will do that to me. If it’s not that, then I don’t know. I had a fudge ice cream bar last night. It didn’t taste all that great. I do like Chapman’s ice cream but these were blah. Good thing there are none left in the box. Hubby ate them all! LOL
Dinner was a bowl of Ramen noodles with fried shrooms and snap peas added. Yum. I used to eat a lot of nuts and dark chocolate as my evening snack. I had some last night and I really didn’t enjoy it. Is that because I’m not on keto? The foods I was eating on keto are now foods that I don’t crave. I still enjoy dark chocolate but I don’t eat it daily anymore. Just little things that I am noticing.
Do you ever wake up in the morning with a banger of a headache? I do. About 4 times a month. Don’t know why it happens. I wonder if it’s cause I didn’t drink enough water the day before? Menopause? Ah, who knows. All I know is that it f**king hurts. I could probably take enough Tylenol to knock out a horse and it still wouldn’t make a difference. Only thing that helps is to go to bed and close my eyes.
While I am dealing with that shit, I am also dizzy. Dizziness is part of my everyday life. I had a neck injury 20 years ago that caused permanent inner ear damage. The doctor called it Vestibulopathy. Look it up if you want to know more. For the most part, I have learned to life with it and accept my fate.
Moving on… I stepped on the scale today. I was pleasantly surprised. I thought for sure I would have gained a bunch of weight from all those tiny cheerios, hahaha. But not so! Overall in the last 2 weeks I put on 3 lbs. I’m ok with that. I have noticed my jeans are a bit tight. No problem! Digging out my fat jeans…LOL
Remember ladies, fat jeans are your friends!
today I decided to take Mom and go to the Mall. It’s the first time we have been out shopping since the pandemic started. It was so nice to do something normal again. It was different this time. Usually when I go shopping I get so frustrated and disappointed that I end up putting everything back on the rack. I feel that nothing looks good on me.
I told myself “Who the F**k cares! Buy what feels comfortable.” And that is what I did. Sure I had to buy a bigger size. I don’t care. IT WAS COMFORTABLE! Don’t know why I have to wear tight clothes. Just so I can look like a sausage? Screw that! At my age who the hell is looking at me?! As long as my clothes are clean and fit to my body, THAT is what matters.
Food intake has been minimal today. Still have my cheerios this morning! And a slice of homemade low carb bread with butter and jam. That’s right! JAM. And it was goooood. I wasn’t hungry at lunch so I had a Quest protein bar. Dinner? Hmmm havent decided what it will be. I’m kinda craving Bacon and eggs.
Oh yeah, I did spoil myself a bit. Bought some gold hoop earrings.
I thought I would try some different cereal. I made sure to get a low sugar healthy type. Since I watch out for wheat I thought corn should be ok. I can eat corn on the cob. Yeah, the cereal was a no go. My tummy bloated to beach ball size. I thought maybe it was the milk, but I have established that lactose free is fine with my tummy. I ate the cereal dry and I was right. I can’t eat it without feeling bloated and then 20 mins later it’s gas town! I will finish them off since I have a hard time throwing away food. Maybe I’ll use them in a recipe of some sort.
To be honest, they are not that tasty. It’s like chewing on cardboard.
Just a few positive affirmations to help me feel better about myself.
- I will treat my body with respect and nourish it with what it asks for.
- I will show my body that it can trust me by not restricting food.
- I will see all food equally, no food is good or bad.
- Intuitive eating is a journey, and I am learning as I go. It’s okay to not be perfect.
- I am more than the food I eat.
- The foods I choose to eat do not impact my self worth.
- I choose to see today in a positive light, it’s a new day for me to learn.
- What I ate yesterday does not dictate what I eat today.
- I forgive my past self for dieting and I choose to be free moving forward.
- Growth comes from outside our comfort zones.
- In order to get comfortable with food again I must first get a little uncomfortable.
- No matter what my body looks like I will still be ME.
- I give my body permission to change.
- I can eat any and all foods whenever I want. There is no need to binge.
- I feel amazing when I am nourished, I deserve to feel this way.
- I choose to see the positive, not the negative.
- I respect my body for all it does for me, I choose to treat it that way as well.
- I’m okay with being imperfect, there is no such thing as perfection.
- It’s okay to not know what my body needs right now, I am figuring it out.
I have been dieting, watching my weight since I was 14. I’m 53, you do the math. In that time I have gone from 120 lbs to 200 and everywhere in between. The last 5 years I have been fluctuating between 150 and 165. I’m happy at 150 but it’s so difficult to stay there.
Two weeks ago I gave up my keto eating plan. I do enjoy all the meat and fat, but it’s just not working anymore. Everything was becoming boring and I had hit a dead end with finding new recipes that I enjoyed. I did a bit of research to see what I could change. I do need to watch some of the things I eat. I have IBS and am lactose intolerant and have a wheat allergy. When looking at eating plans, most of them are low calorie, low fat or low carb. Then I found something about intuitive eating. I started reading about it. The more I read, the more I like the sound of it.
So, 2 weeks in and I am eating cheerios every day. Sometimes it’s breakfast, lunch and desert. hahaha! I know! Crazy right? I bought lactose free 2% milk and have been enjoying my cheerios. Damn tasty!!
I know that this journey is going to take some time. I know I will gain weight. I’m ok with this. I would rather gain a few pounds than to deprive my body of what it wants. Now, just to be clear, I am not going to go eating all those so-called bad foods. But I will indulge from time to time. You bet I will go to the pub and have that burger and beer. Or have a donut or two. It’s all a matter of knowing what the body wants and what it actually needs. I do know that ice cream is a killer for my tummy. I love it but I do not love running to the toilet an hour later. I am also a bread lover, it doesn’t love me. Talk about major bloat, gas and intestinal pain!
Intuitive eating means you listen to your body. Figure out what your body wants, what makes you happy. It will take time. I’m ok with that. I just want to stop dieting, thinking of food 24 hours a day and worrying about how much I weigh.
I am going to continue with this new path and see where it goes.
Welcome my blog. I’m not new to blogging, but it has been a few years since I blogged. Thought it was about time to start a new chapter. I’m older and wiser now, I hope! I plan to share some personal things but mostly I want to share my crafty side. I enjoy crocheting, sewing and I recently started painting. I might add recipes to that list since I enjoy cooking/baking too. I hope that you will leave comments and come back again.