September

Hard to believe it’s already September. This year went by so fast.

I spent this summer eating foods that I haven’t had in years. Some foods I binged and others, well I realized they really didn’t taste as good as I had remembered. Over all, I was happy this summer. Not thinking about food, counting carbs, wondering what to make for every meal, looking up endless recipes. I did none of that. I was free to do whatever I wanted.

Now reality is setting in. *sigh* I weighed in this morning. 170lbs…. I’m not happy with that number. But when I look in the mirror I don’t see the extra weight. I actually see a beautiful body. Yes, sure my clothes are tight. So what! I can go buy big clothesย  new clothes.

I know that I need to now start looking at what I am eating. Cut back of a few things. But I also won’t be denying myself the foods that I want.ย  I did try to exercise, but I really dont want to do it. So I have been going for a walk in the morning. Just a 20 minutes walk a few times a week. I’ll keep doing that but if I don’t feel like it, then I don’t go. I am getting my mom’s treadmill. That way I can walk at home during the winter months.

One plus that I noticed….my sex drive is up. I actually have time to think about sex instead of constantly thinking about food, recipes, cooking and counting carbs. My sex drive was completely gone because I was obsessed about my diet.

very day I am learning new things about myself.

I finally told myself that I am beautiful. It’s a big monsterous step for me.

 

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