UPDATE – Feeling Good

I know I said I wouldn’t do it, but I did. I stepped on the scale this morning. I needed to see if I did gain more weight. I was pleasantly surprised that I stayed the same. It was also a relief. I was worried that I gained over the holidays. Now that I know I have been the same weight since October, I feel good.

My body has found the weight it wants to be at. That’s a good thing. Now I can focus on getting some type of movement into my days and switch up a bit of my foods. Most of my craving are gone. I did crave a cheeseburger from McD’s but I got on from Wendy’s instead. It was yummy and it took care of that craving. Sure I could eat burgers daily but I dont need to.

Yesterday I had an avocado for the first time in a bout 2 months. Oh it was tasty! I think slowly I will add back some foods that I haven’t had since I was doing keto. All those foods were no interest to me. Now I can see that I will eat some of them again. I have hardly wanted any meats or veggies Now I am starting to want them again.

6 months

I want to share this with others that are struggling like I have.
I went on my first diet when I was 13. All through my life I have been on the diet roller coaster. Always watching what I eat. Counting calories, fats, carbs. Making sure I drank lots of water. Giving up foods I loved. I did so many fad diets and I did lose weight but I also gained it back time and time again. The last 12 years I have been doing low carb, then I switched to keto about 3 years ago. I have kept my weight off but it has been a struggle to maintain it. Giving up a lot of happiness.
Six months ago I quit keto. I had enough. I was miserable. I thought that maybe I could start calorie counting again. I did some searching online and found a blog that was about intuitive eating. I was curious. I found myself going down the rabbit hole. A week later I crawled out of that hole and was ready to let go of dieting. I was afraid but excited. My first want…Cheerios. Which I binged on for about 2 months every day a bowl or two. And from there I went on to binge on all the foods I hadn’t let myself eat in years. I found out that some of the foods that I wanted and had missed for so many years, didn’t really taste as good as I remembered.
I was so scared that I would gain a ton of weight but I had told myself that it’s ok if I do, that my body will settle down at the weight it needs to be at.
It took some time. Five months to get to a set point with my weight. I had gained 12 lbs in total. I went up a size in my clothing, not a big deal. I am still eating my cheerios whenever I want them.
Anyways, here comes Christmas. This is why I wanted to share. I have always been unhappy when Christmas happens. All the foods that I couldn’t eat. All the diet talk. All the bullshit that goes with it. Well, this year I have been so happy. I love baking and cooking again. I’ve made so many Christmas treats it’s ridiculous! The best part, I don’t feel like I need to eat it all up just because it’s here. I have finally found peace with food. It doesn’t control me anymore. I will never go on a diet again.
It took me 41 years to learn that diets don’t work and that I have an eating disorder and body issues.
I am still learning everyday what my body needs. But everyday I am also learning to love my body and who I am. The road to recovery is worth it.
I have left out a lot of details to keep this short. Otherwise this would be a mile long post.
If you are struggling with your diet, I am happy to talk about what I have been doing. Or you can google intuitive eating. You might end up down the same rabbit hole..LOL
But for now, I will fill my glass with wine, I will enjoy those Christmas cookies and wish the best to all of you in the New Year and for those that are starting a new diet, good luck, I am so glad I dont have to do that anymore!

So far – update

It’s been just over a month that I have giving up dieting. What has changed? Well, I am happier, relaxed and not so stressed about food. It’s been freeing. The first couple weeks I had to learn to stop reading the nutritional stats. That was tough. I was so used to looking at them no matter what it was and if there were no stats, I didn’t buy it. Now I only read ingredients, just to make sure there is no wheat flour.

My mom is worried I am going to gain lots of weight. I told her it’s ok if I gain a bit, but I won’t let myself gain too much. From when I started this, up until today I have only gained 3 lbs. Really not a big deal. Clothes are a bit tighter.

My digestive system has adjusted too. I can poop! LOL Before, when doing keto it was a chore. Hard small poops that caused pain and hemorrhoids. I thought it was because of my IBS. I was wrong! Change to eating everything and now I poop like a normal person. And the hemorrhoids are not screaming at me. Yes, they screamed at me. Seriously, it’s a “relief” to go to the bathroom and empty out and feel great. Been years since I felt good after a shit.

One side effect, my face looks like a greasy pizza. I don’t know what is going on! So much oil and pimples. It’s like I’m in my teens again. Not happy with it. I’m hoping it will clear up soon. Not going to stress about it. I know it’s part of the changes my body is going through.

I am taking regular vitamins. Some are for menopause. Damn hot flashes. Been 2 weeks since I had one. think that the Evening Primrose and Maca root are helping for that. The others are for various reason. I’ll do a separate post about the supplements I take.

Anything else… I just feel better, all over. 🙂